Being Small in a Big World
Growing up with Russell-Silver syndrome, living through bullying, finding my voice, and learning that difference belongs.
Since i was born I've been very tiny due to my disease "Russell Silver Syndrome" (R.S.S). I was 3 lbs. I've always been really small. There was never a time when i was average, or close to the height of a kid my age. In fact I was always teased due to my height. By the time I had embarked into my first year of school all of my classmates, or really anyone around me would tease me because I was so small, and developmentally I was slow.
People around me gave me the nickname "Baby". Now I'm not sure if they just gave me that nickname because i was just really gorgeous, or just tiny. Considering i had "Russell Silver Syndrome" (R.S.S) I had assumed it was because i was so small. Even though I liked thinking it was because I was a babe, and thinking girls were just flirting with me. Unfortunately it was because I was about a foot smaller than everyone else and possibly because i had developmental, educational, and social issues which resulted most likely by my stroke. I was very socially awkward. That was always a big problem also up until I was early into my eighteenth year.
I broke out of my shell a lot in the last year, and am pretty friendly and the opposite. People used to try as hard as they could to get me to talk but now they can't get me to be quiet at times. In fact up until i was in first grade nobody knew i could talk at all. When i was in first grade I was getting picked up from school, and a classmate screamed "BABY CAN TALK!!" I was still super shy even past that. I would only talk to people I've known for a long time. Which made it hard to make friends. Although I did have one amazing friend and still do named Mom.
Anyways I had a lot of developmental, and educational slowness therefore I had a para in school. If you don't know what a para is, it is a personal educational helper who would also help you with your developmental problems and help you overcome them. Sort of like an assistant teacher who works with kids personally rather than in a big group. Due to my stroke i had to learn to walk and talk again so she would help me with speech and talking sort of.
About my proportional dwarfism. It was not very fun going through school being as short as I was. You would get bullied, teased, and mocked due to everybody being so much taller than me. I don't remember a whole lot of my elementary school years so I will jump into my middle school years. Middle school is not ideal especially when you're short. I got bullied quite a bit in middle school because of my height both physically and mentally.
For an example, there was this one time i was in the boys locker room about to get ready to swim when a boy grabs me by the neck and was practically strangling me. I then told my mom and they made me and him go to the principals office and explain what happened. I told the principal I was just minding my own business not even talking to the other boys when he just decides to put his hands around my neck and was basically strangling me for about fifteen seconds. I had told him what happened and the boy says "I was just playing." That was his excuse. It's not like we were friends and he was literally playing with me, he just wanted attention and a laugh from his friends at the time. This generation "playing" to kids is trying to get attention or a laugh from friends in an attempt to "look cool" at the moment.
From another kid in particular I was pushed, pinched, and verbally bullied by a different bully. I actually had a lot of bullies in middle school which you'd never expect would come from such a school. It was the school on the campus of National Jewish Hospital. You would think they would be more cautious about this topic. The staff, and the students. The staff should know better considering there's so much in the media about bullying cases, and kids with chronic illnesses seem to be the target of bullying. So, you'd think they would be more aware, and enforce more often. I was always too short, and too skinny to retaliate and fight back. Even if I did I'd get beaten up because i was so small, therefore not as strong as my oppressor.
Being small in high school was definitely terrible because people at that age start growing a lot. Although i was not bullied in high school, I have gotten a lot of rude short comments and people saying "There's no way you're in high school." I try not to let those comments get to me, but its kind of difficult to ignore. Being short definitely makes you less confident and makes you think less of yourself and makes you feel insecure.
Being short is not ideal, but you can't let people get to you and make you less confident. In the long run, height does not matter. It's your personality that makes you, you! God made you special and you need to remember, our differences are what makes us special. We need to be confident that we are incredibly made. We can do anything if we just put our minds to it and believe in ourselves.
Thank you for reading this blog post. Leave a comment I'd love your advice on this post! Thank you for your support! If you liked my blog, tell your friends and lets educate people on problems like these, and my diseases! Stay tuned for my next post and take care! 😉