Music
Some things I could only say by singing them.
I learned to sing in a hospital, with a music therapist, during years when there was not much else I could do. Writing songs is the oldest thing I do here — older than the blog, older than the videos, older than any of the tools.
These are written for specific days and specific people. The words are mine.
On disability, access, and the barriers we mistake for people
Move the Wall
This is for every person who has ever been measured against a doorway they did not build. We call a body limited while leaving the barrier untouched; we praise someone for trying while refusing to make the path fair. I wanted to turn that around. Accommodation did not create my purpose, and it did not create my ability. It gave both somewhere to go. Sometimes the brave thing is not asking a person to overcome the wall. It is finally moving it.
Open on YouTubeWhat you call a limitationmay be something you designed.If the world was built to block me,don't mistake the wall for me.If you want to see my ability,move the wall.
On autism, sensory overload, and being read wrong in seconds
Different Lens
This one started as a message and turned into a song. It is about being judged in the first few seconds — labelled, misunderstood, walked past — and what changes when someone slows down enough to actually look. The whole idea is in the last line of the chorus: not despite. Because.
Open on YouTubeThe things that make me differentare the things that make me whole.The light that comes through broken glassis the most beautiful light of all.I'm not despite.I'm because.
Written for World Down Syndrome Day
Perfectly Made, Woven With Purpose
I wrote this to celebrate the people I work beside every shift. Not to wish anything were different — to say that nothing here needs fixing. There is a line in it that is close to the thesis of everything I do: accommodation isn't pity.
Open on YouTubeYou don't need to fix what's never broken.You don't need a deal to belong.Every life's a language spoken.Every heart's the same strong song.Some need space. Some need time.Some need help to stand up tall.But needing help don't make you less.It just means we need us all.
On masking, and the exhaustion sleep cannot fix
Can't Keep Up
For a long time I got very good at looking fine. Adjusting, shrinking, becoming whatever shape made the room comfortable. That kind of performance drains you in a way rest does not touch. This song is not a breakdown. It is the moment I stopped.
Open on YouTubeI can't keep up, yeah, that's not me.I'm just feeding you lies that you want to believe.But fooling you is really fooling me more.I'm just going to stop and be the real me,even if it's not what you want to see.
Where this started
The first one was a duet with my doctor.
In July 2016 I posted a video of Dr. Bloom and me singing together. It is the fourth thing I ever put on the blog, and I asked people to tell me honestly if I was any good. I was nineteen and I meant it.
Everything on this page grew out of that. The tools got better. The reason did not change.
Read that post“A big portion of my blog will be about the songs I've written, and you may see a lot of singing.”First blog post, July 13, 2016
If one of these fits
Take it. It was written to be taken.
If a line here says something you have not been able to say, it is yours to use. Send it to the person who needs to hear it. That is the entire reason it exists.
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